No wonder that the Jews and Romans didn’t know what to do with Jesus. His message was so uncomfortable, so radical, and so unlike how we usually live our lives. I know the message makes me uncomfortable because there are plenty of times I don’t feel like letting other people into my world- sometimes I just want my space. Then after a bit, I feel lonely and want to mix with other people again.

I’m reading a book called Three Came Home written by a prisoner in a Japanese prison camp near Kuching during WWII. The kids who grew up in the camp were so unselfish and generous. They shared every little thing, especially food whenever they got an extra bit. You would think the opposite would be true, that because they had so little, they would hoard what they had since an additional egg could mean the matter of life and death. But they had such close bonds they really prefered sharing; they didn’t even know any other way to be. The kids in the Kuching POW camp had no choice but to live in community; it was imposed on them; they lived in one large unpartitioned room and couldn't leave the camp. But it shaped them into caring, giving human beings.

Giving for the sake of giving ought to feel good, while hoarding should make you sad because it definitely impoverishes the soul. But what is it about giving that makes it so hard to trust the process? Usually the more we have, the less willing we are to share. I think I am that way often enough; it’s like I think something might be too good to give away. Other times I feel in competition, like if someone gives something, I have to match it somehow. That’s no good either. You have to give for the right reasons.
As I mentioned in class, it makes me sad and fusterated to know there are so many problems out there in the big world. It is really hard to know how to help. This disturbs me now more than ever because I am not generating any income at the moment, and when that is the case, I don't have much voice in how our family money should be spent. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't go back to teaching just to have the money to donate.

We touched on Jesus as a woman last night. Of course God had a choice, but why make the least effective one? Even today, if I really want to get something done, I have my husband make a phone call or write a letter. People will listen to him, when I could have been saying the same thing and been ignored over and over again. That's just the way it is. Instead of thinking, why didn't God have the messiah be a woman, we should continue to be amazed that God showed up at all. He was already very marginalized as a Jewish carpenter from Nazareth, in country under Roman occupation.